So here's the thing. You have the bug and you have the windscreen wiper. Some days you're the bug and other days you're the windscreen wiper. I can normally tell you which of the two I am by 9.30am!!
Oh yes and while we're talking silly stories, are you going to be the chicken or the pig. The chicken (eg the egg you get) is involved but the pig is committed (eg the meat you get). You may have to spend a wee while thinking that one through.